


Lovely Tonight

by missalline



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, diverges from cannon at start of season 6, secret meeting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-18 01:09:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/873970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missalline/pseuds/missalline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with seams of gold, therefore creating beauty from the wreckage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Inside Out

She wonders what he'll think of her, this broken mockery of the girl he knew. She's not a girl anymore. Being torn out of heaven will do that to a person. It's why she hadn't told him she was back.

She is worried(terrified) that he'll take one look at the creature that crawled out of her grave and realize he doesn't love her anymore.

He'd called ahead and rented a room at the motel right next to the road. Now she's waiting, sitting on the edge of the bed. She hopes she can adequately pretend.

***********************

He had left as soon as it was safe-ish enough for him to drive. The sun wasn't quite down yet, by the just had to get to her. He drove much faster than he should have, too.

***********************

She looked up when he walked in. She had sworn to herself that she was going to be strong, not let seeing him get to her, but she looked at him with that sorrowful, loving look on his face and the dam holding everything in broke. It starts with just a couple of tears, but escalates quickly, and she's sobbing within seconds.

He holds her for the hours it takes for the final tear to fall. He doesn't say anything, just strokes her hair and occasionally kisses her temple.

***********************

Later, still within his arms, she whispers so softly he almost doesn't hear. "I was in heaven"

"I know"

***********************  
***********************  
***********************

She'd fallen asleep in his arms. She remembers that much. But she's not entirely sure why they're now in a moving car.

"Angel?" she sleepily asks "What's going on?"

"We're going to Vegas."

"Obviously." She sits there silently, trying to ignore the voice in the back of her head telling her that she's doing something wrong. It's nice to be alone with him, but I have to get back. They're expecting me.

"I can't just leave, Angel, I have a life to get back to."

"Here," He says as he reaches into his coat pocket and hands her his cell phone. "Call and tell them I need your help on a case."

She takes the phone reluctantly. "Angel… I don't know…"

"You need a break from people who expect you to be what you were before. I intend to give you one."

"Oh. Okay." A ghost of a smile settles on her lips.

***********************

He got them a room at the first hotel she liked. It has one bed and a shower that looks like it could fit them and all of their friends. He drops his stuff in the corner (because he actually knew they would be gone for a while) and sits down on the bed.

"Come sit with me." Buffy walked over and sat down next to Angel. He hesitantly put his arm around her. She felt stiff for a moment, then relaxed into his embrace.

"I still love you, Buffy. You know that, right?"

A pause. "I do."

"Good. Please don't ever doubt that. Now listen to me.

"I do not expect you to be the person you were before you jumped. Nobody should."

"But they all do," Her voice was quivering with threatened tears.

"They're wrong. You have the ability to become someone so much more amazing, but you have things you're going to need to work through first. We're staying here as long as you need to do that."

"Even if it takes years?"

"Even if it takes years."

************************

Buffy was in turmoil when they left the hotel that night. So many things were running around in her head. She had a… something back in Sunnydale and she couldn't just take off. If nothing else she had to get back for Dawn. She couldn't abandon her again.

And Angel. He'd specifically gotten a room with one bed, but he hadn't kissed her, or said anything about rekindling their relationship, or made any move toward her that could be considered as anything more than just friendly. Only a very good friend friendly, but still. Maybe he just wanted to sleep on the floor. Buffy's thoughts were stopped when Angel pulled the car up next to a run-down building.

"A client told us there's a nest in this building. He wants it cleaned out."

"So I really am here to help you with a case."

"That's the excuse." Angel paused for a moment, not sure how to say the next thing. "Buffy, when you fight you… plan everything. It's like you're thinking twelve steps ahead."

"I have to."

"I know, when you're alone. But I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You can be as… reckless, unthinking as you want to be. I'm here to protect you. You won't get hurt." Angel leaned over and kissed her forehead before jumping out of the car. He walked around to her door and opened it, holding out his hand for her to take. She did, and they walked into the building hand in hand.

*************************

It was close to dawn when Buffy and Angel got back to their room.

"Go shower," Angel said "I'll call down and order you room service."

"I'm not hungry," I haven't been, not since I came back.

"When was the last time you were?" When Buffy didn't answer Angel knew that his assumption that she hadn't really been eating was right. "You need to eat something, Buffy. Go shower. It'll be here when you get out."

Buffy relaxed in her shower. The hot water fell over her skin washing away the sweat and dirt and blood accumulated from the fight. She had actually enjoyed that fight. Lately slaying had just been a job, something she was required to do. But this fight had been different. She'd just fought. She hadn't planned, hadn't thought. She'd just done what she wanted. So maybe she'd beaten up on a couple of the vamps a little more than she should have before she'd staked them. Who cares? And every time she'd almost gotten hurt Angel had been there staking the vamp or deflecting the thrown rock or pushing her out of the way. It had been wonderful.

Stepping out of the shower and grabbing a towel to dry herself off, Buffy could smell the food Angel had ordered for her. She thought about getting back in the shower and waiting until the food got cold, but realized he'd probably make her eat it anyway, and warm food was definitely better than cold food, so Buffy dried off and got dressed.

"What'd ya' get me?" She asked as she walked out of the bathroom.

"Tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich."

Buffy gave a short bark of laughter. "Really?" She thought he would get her something more sophisticated, like salmon with lemon sauce, and was surprised with something so… innocent.

"I wanted something you would actually eat." Angel had walked over to Buffy while they had been talking. He now held her shoulders and steered her to sit down on the bed, in front of which he had placed the cart with her food on it. He sat with her while she ate, partly to keep her company, and partly to make sure she did eat. Buffy was silent throughout her meal.

"Are you mad at me?" Angel asked softly. "I know I've been telling you what to do, but I" The look in Buffy's eyes mad Angel stop talking mid-sentence.

"I was just thinking how nice it was for someone to be taking care of me for a change." She turned away from him and covered her mouth with her hand as she started crying. Angel pulled Buffy into his arms and just held her. When she was done he spoke to her softly.

"Go to bed. I'm going to go shower." Angel turned off the light as he walked out of the room, and Buffy crawled under the covers, but she wouldn't let herself fall asleep. Not until she knew where he was sleeping. Buffy breathed a sigh of relief when he came out of the bathroom and got into the bed with her. He pulled the covers over them, wrapped his arms around her, and held her flush with his body. Buffy hadn't felt this loved since she had been back. She'd been wanting to say something since she had first seen him, and this action let her know she could, that it would be accepted, that it wouldn't scare him away.

"I love you." She whispered into the darkened room.

"I know."


	2. Say You Like Me

Buffy and Angel slept the day away. She was the first to wake up. When she did she realized she had a problem, a big problem, a MAJOR problem. The only clothes she had were the ones she was wearing. Buffy's agitated pacing woke Angel up.

"What's wrong, Buffy?"

"What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG? I have no more clothes, Angel." Her voice got softer. "I love that you want to help me, that we took this trip, but I need more than one set of clothes." Her voice got louder again. "If you had actually TOLD me that I wouldn't be home for weeks I could have packed. And it's not just clothes, Angel. It's make-up and hair care products and skin care products and, and- Mr. Gordo!"

Angel knew he had to tread carefully now. One wrong statement could lead to very bad things, things he didn't really want to think about.

"With the exception of Mr. Gordo, I was planning on buying you all new things." Buffy stopped her pacing and turned to him astonished. The look on her face made Angel softly smile. This particular smile was Buffy's favorite. This was the smile that meant, whether he knew it or not (and she was pretty sure he didn't), 'I love you, Buffy'. This was the smile that always had the ability to calm her down.

"Shopping? You want to take me shopping? But you hate shopping." Buffy perched on the edge of the bed. Angel took her hand and placed a gentle kiss on her palm.

"But you love it, or you used to anyway, and this trip is about helping you reclaim part of who you were so you can discover who you want to become, and you can do that by doing, or at least trying, things you used love. Shopping is one of those things. Also, I think you'll still love it." Buffy's hand that Angel wasn't holding came up to stroke his face. They shared a tender, loving moment. Buffy's lips felt empty without Angel's pressed against them, but she could tell this wasn't the right time for their first kiss.

"I also really wanted to indulge you." Buffy genuinely smiled at his statement, and Angel's smile grew because of it. 'I love making her happy' "Let me get dressed and we'll leave."

******************

One of the reasons Angel picked Las Vegas was because most places were open 24/7. It was a city very accommodating to their schedule.

Buffy was surprisingly excited. She had been meaning to get new clothes; nothing really fit her anymore, but just hadn't cared enough to go buy them. And money was so tight she couldn't justify spending some on things she already had. But this was different. Angel was taking her shopping. Angel was spending money. She actually wanted to look good for Angel. It only then dawned on Buffy that Angel couldn't afford to be spending money either.

"Angel, I can't accept this. It's so much money, and you can't afford it." Angel just looked at her, quickly, before turning his eyes back to the road. He stopped in front of a restaurant, shut down the car, and turned to look at her.

"Buffy, I'm more than 250 years old, and a very wise investor. I can afford it." His brow crinkled "Didn't you ever wonder where I got my money?"

"I guess I never really thought about it."

Angel smiled "You don't have to worry, Buffy. If I can afford to give Cordelia a raise every time she asks for one I can afford to spoil the woman I love."

"Well in that case I say we skip right to the clothes, because this whole food thing is really overrated." Angel's response was to get out of the car, walk around, and open Buffy's door.

"You're really going to make me eat?"

"I'm really going to make you eat."

"Can I at least order this time?"

"Anything you want."

**********************

Buffy had enjoyed her meal. The food was really good, and with Angel there to distract her she was able to eat much more than she thought she could. It was so nice to be able to talk to someone and be completely honest, except for one of the bigger issues. She couldn't tell him how much she wanted him back. She was too afraid of what his response would be.

He told her he loved her. He held her while she cried, while she slept. He sat with her while she ate to make sure she did. He'd watched the end of a silly reality T.V. show with her after she had gotten engrossed and couldn't leave until it was over. He played every part the devoted lover, except he had never said he was. Buffy had almost convinced herself that when she had accomplished whatever he thought she needed to he would leave again, but she desperately didn't want to believe that, so she wouldn't let herself.

************************  
"I'm feeling guilty," Buffy said later as they sat in the mall's parking garage. "I know you said I didn't need to worry about money, but I didn't need an entire new wardrobe."

"I wanted to buy you an entire new wardrobe." Angel said with a smile. 'She's so pretty when she's happy.'

"I'm begging to think that this trip is really just to satisfy you." Angel pulled out of the parking garage, but didn't turn in the direction of their hotel. Buffy thought about asking where they we going, but figured it would be somewhere else that would make her happy, so she stayed quiet.

Which lead to some confusion when he pulled up next to a rundown building.

"Go. Fight. Be reckless and stupid. I'll stand on the side to keep you from getting hurt." Angel's hand had rested on Buffy's cheek while he spoke, and now her hand mirrored his actions. Buffy leaned forward to kiss Angel, but instead of the lips she remembered so well, she encountered the smooth skin of his cheek.

"Come on, Buffy. We need to go in now to be able to get back to the hotel before sunrise." They got out of the car. Angel grabbed Buffy's hand and pulled her close to him before she could storm away.

***********************

Buffy had come to the conclusion that she loved being able to fight without having to care about protecting herself. She felt so free. And because she didn't have to think about her next five moves all the time her thoughts had drifted to other things.

Her foremost thought had been about her anger toward Angel. She was mad because he wouldn't kiss her. She was mad because he wouldn't talk about what they were doing. She was mad he'd left her.

She was mad he'd turned back the Day. In heaven she hadn't just gotten those memories back, she had relived those moments. And now she couldn't anymore. Which lead her to start thinking about her anger toward Willow, which she really didn't want to think about, so she focused on kick-hit-stake, kick-hit-stake. She'd actually managed to work off some of her aggression. Now she just needed to talk to him.

She hadn't worked up the nerve after the fight. Or on the ride back. Or on the way up to the room. Or in the room. Or before she went to shower. Or after her shower. Or while she was eating. And now he was going to shower and she needed to talk to him.

"Angel?" He stopped and looked at her. He seemed nervous, like he knew what was coming. Buffy wasn't sure how to begin, so she just blurted the first thing that popped into her mind. "You won't kiss me. You hold me but you won't do anything else and you won't talk about why you're holding me, and the Angel I knew doesn't hold a girl without explaining why," she had become more and more agitated and her voice began trembling with unshed tears "and I just don't understand and I need to I really need to because my body isn't the body that I had because when I came back every wound and scar and injury I've ever had was healed," She hadn't meant to tell him that, but she was venting and couldn't stop. "And I need to know what the hell you're doing because there are things that are yours and should only be yours and I don't even know if you still want me and-"

"I always want you." A long moment passed before Buffy spoke again. When she did it was in a quiet and confused voice.

"Then what's going on?" Angel paused to think before he spoke.

"I have a plan, Buffy. I just need you to trust me." Buffy was silent for a long time, so Angel turned and went to shower.

Buffy sat there on the bed. Trust him. Did she? 'Of course I do.'

Buffy looked up when he came out of the bathroom some minutes later.

"I do trust you." He saw the truth in her eyes and walked over to her, placing his lips on her forehead. He pulled her into bed and held her close, then coverd them with the blankets. He whispered softly in her ear.

"I know."


	3. Hold You Tight

Buffy and Angel's schedule quickly took on a pattern: sleep while it was light, leave the hotel, stop at a restaurant for Buffy, stop at the butchers for Angel (a different one each day), do something Buffy would consider fun (shopping, seeing a show, other things Angel generally cringed at), reckless fights the rest of the night, then return to the hotel before Angel got crispy, shower, eat, repeat. They talked every day, too, but it was much more irregular. Angel had to be ready to help Buffy work through something at every moment because neither of them could know when she would feel the need.

They could both tell the talking was helping. She would tell him almost everything, how mad at Willow she was for suggesting it, at everyone else for helping, how she was terrified that she wouldn't be able to take care of Dawn, how she didn't have enough money for anything. Angel always knew exactly what to say.

*************************

On their fifth day in town Angel initiated the conversation. They had just gone to bed, and the plan had been to sleep, but Angel needed to talk to her, and, as bad as he felt about it, he was hoping to catch her with her guard down.

"Buffy," he spoke softly onto the top of her head, "I know it may be hard for you to talk about that you may not want to, but the other day, what you said about your body not being the one you had, what did you mean?" Buffy was silent. Angel waited so long for her to speak that by the time she did he had accepted she wasn't going to.

"It was the spell Willow used to bring me back. The way it works is that it creates a new body around the remains of the old one to whatever age the old body had been. I'm not wearing my body restored; I'm not wearing an exact copy. I'm wearing a completely new one." Buffy tilted her head to look at Angel, and saw confusion written on his face. She sighed, reached over to turn on the bedside light, threw the covers off them, and sat up in bed.

"My dad taught me how to ride a bike when I was five," she said, lightly stroking a small spot on her knee. "One time I fell and an errant stick stabbed my knee. I needed two stiches." She tapped the spot she had been previously stroking. "The scar isn't there anymore; that injury didn't happen to this body, it happened to the one I had before."

Angel circles his arm around Buffy's back and pulled her to his side before asking very softly "Are there any other scars you wish you still had?"

"I had this one on my neck that I got saving the man I love. Really wish I could've kept that. Also there was this thing that happened on my 17th birthday. It was technically an injury, though it's not supposed to heal." While she had been talking Angel had maneuvered them so that they were lying down again. He pondered the information she had just given him and said the only thing he knew he could.

"I love you, Buffy."

"I love you, too."

***************************

Hours later Buffy awoke to the strangest sound, a soft panting coming from above her head. Her next thought was that the pillow beneath her head felt damp. Her next thought was that Angel was crying.

Angel was crying.

"It's alright Angel. I'm here." He just held her tighter.

***************************

A week and a half after their arrival Buffy brought up the one thing Angel didn't want to hear about. They had just woken up and Angel had been talking about things she might want to do that night.

"I have to go back." Buffy had called home every day, and the last few days Dawn had refused to talk to her. She didn't want to hurt her sister more.

"Give me another week, Buffy. Just another week."

"Angel…"

"Please, Buffy. I have a plan. Trust me."

Buffy smile at him, one of the only really sincere ones he'd seen. "I do."

****************************

Angel had six days left and he was getting worried. He had a plan; a good plan, a plan that would make both of them happy. A plan that may not come to fruition if she couldn't accept something that he already knew.

So he started egging her to fight more and to fight harder. Instead of four or five vamps a night, he'd push her to keep fighting until she practically collapsed against him in exhaustion.

*****************************

Angel has three days left and his desired outcome was incredibly close. He just needed to give her one last push. One last dangerous push that he really didn't want to do, but knew he had to.

It was her fourteenth fight that night. She was falling asleep on her feet. But she was the Slayer and she was very good, so she shouldn't have missed when she kicked out, and she shouldn't have let the vamp pin her against the wall. And she was Buffy, so she shouldn't have given in.

But she did. She closed her eyes, and she slumped against the hold, and she tilted her head just the slightest bit. And then she was falling and being caught by strong arms as the dust settled around them. So she hit him, and burst into tears. Then she hit him again.

"You ass!" *smack* "You shouldn't have stopped him!" *punch* "Why the" sob "hell did you?" sob. Angel grabbed her arms and held her still.

"Why, Buffy?"

"Stop it!"

"Why shouldn't I have stopped him?"

"No I-I didn't m-mean-"

"Tell me, Buffy!"

She pulled away from him and yelled with all the force she still had "Because I want to go back!" She clamped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide with terror as what she just said registered. "I want to go back." She whisper, horrified. "I want to go back." Her sobs became gasping and uncontrollable. "I w-want to g-o back, Angel. I want to go back." She leaned her head against Angel's chest and he wrapped her in his arms, holding her as tightly as he could.

*******************************

They didn't make it back to the hotel that day. Buffy had cried until the city was bathed in sun. She spent the rest of the day alternating between sobbing uncontrollably and being completely numb. Angel carried her out to the car when it got dark out and drove back to the hotel. He carried her all the way to their room, where he set her on the bed. She curled up on her side and he sat in the chair she was facing. After a moment he reached over and began to stroke her hair. Angel's heart was breaking again for the girl in front of him. He had known that this would be hard on both of them, but the reality of it was a thousand times worse than he had ever imagined.

"What's wrong with me?"

"You've been through a traumatic experience and you haven't had anyone to support you. You've had to pretend that everything was fine. Everything you're feeling is perfectly right, is perfectly normal for your situation."

Buffy gave him a week, sad smile. "I'm not normal, Angel."

"Normal's a subjective term." Long moments passed in silence. "I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to think about it before you answer. Do you really want to die?"

Buffy looked him straight in the eye. He could see the thoughts churning in her mind. Slowly she began to shake her head. "I just want to go back. I loved it there."

When Angel spoke again his voice was heavy with the remembrance of old words.

"Tell me about heaven Buffy."

("Tell me about hell Angel"

"It was a place where you weren't.")

"It was a place where you were.

And you were mine. And we were happy."

"Sounds wonderful." Something flashed across Angel's face. 'Hurt', Buffy thought 'And hope.'

Angel seemed to be shaking it off as he stood up. "I'm going to go downstairs and get you some food."

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat anyway." Buffy could see that Angel was determined to leave, so she said the only thing that she knew would make him stay.

"It was a place where we kissed on a pier in the sunlight." Angel froze with his hand on the door handle. "It was a place where we made love on your kitchen table. It was a place where I licked ice cream off your chest. It was a place where I got to relive those moments, and all the ones around them, over and over again." Angel's breathing had turned ragged and Buffy could tell he was trying not to cry. She got up, walked over to him, and slid her arms around his waist while resting her head on his back.

"I'm so sorry Buffy." His voice was filled with despair and regret.

"It's okay Angel. I understand why you did it. I'm not happy about it, but I'm not mad anymore." Angel turned in her arms and enclosed her in his. He bent his head so that his forehead was touching hers.

"I love you Buffy." She tilted her head to kiss him and he turned his head so that her lips once again brushed his cheek. "Not yet Buffy; I have a plan. It's a good plan, the outcome of which I know you'll like."

"Fine," She sounded annoyed, but a tiny bit playful. "So when exactly will this plan be put into action?"

"It already has." Buffy gave him a quizzical look. "The first part of the plan was helping you to accept that you wanted to go back. The second part is giving you a reason you'd rather stay here."

"So when will the second part start?"

He smiled at her and spoke with a slightly teasing tone "Tomorrow."

"So we should probably go to sleep then."

"Probably."

Later after showering and crawling into bed Buffy spoke.

"I'm so glad I have you."

"I know."


	4. The Fear You Won't Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I definitely thought I had already posted the whole work... sorry...

When Angel woke up Buffy was sitting crossed-leg on the bed, staring at him expectantly.

"Well?" Her playful countenance brought a wide smile to Angel's lips. She was  _happy_. The air around her appeared lighter, light a terrible burden had been lifted. Which, of course, had been the whole point of step one.

"Be patient Buffy."

"I don't wanna'. You said I was getting a surprise."

"You are, but I have calls I need to make first. So go shower and let me make them."

"'K." Buffy practically bounced off the bed and into the bathroom.

Angel laughed as she left the room.

*****************************

Buffy made sure to take a  _very_  long shower so that Angel had  _extra_  time to make his calls. She wouldn't want him to have to wait any longer to give her her surprise.

Angel wasn't there when Buffy went back into the room, but her meal was. She had been eating for a few minutes when Angel came back.

"Did you leave me any hot water?"

"You should be fine. If you shower fast enough."

"I'll try." He bent down and kissed her on her forehead before going to shower and Buffy continued her meal. It was the first time he hadn't watched her while she ate.

******************************

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see." A pause.

"Are we almost there?"

"Almost."

"Vegas can be so pretty, with all the sparkly lights. Is where we're going a sparkly place?"

"Depends on your definition of 'sparkly'."

"You're really not going to tell me?" Buffy sounded almost unbelieving.

"I don't need to. We're there." Buffy looked at the nondescript building next to them and was highly confused, until she saw the sign. Then she was even more confused.

"A modiste?" Buffy turned her face to Angel hoping for an explanation.

"A maker of designer women's fashions. You're going to go in there and look at what I've been told are hundreds of unique dresses, one of which I would like you to pick. They'll pluck it off the model or mannequin, put it on you, and alter it so that it fits you perfectly."

"I get a custom made dress?"

"You do." He smiled at the excited and happy look in her eyes. "And then," he said, draping his arm over her shoulders, "they're going to show you a large number of pieces of jewelry. I want you to pick something that matches the dress. Do you think you can do that?"

Buffy laughed loudly then said very seriously "Yes Angel, I think I can do that."

"Okay. I'll pick you up in a few hours."

"You're not going in with me?" They had been in the same place the entire trip. Being without him made her nervous.

"I have a couple more errands to run." Angel could see that Buffy was about to object, so he tried to calm her. "Buffy, these are errands you  _want_  me to run. If you finish and I'm not back, or if you're just worried, you can call me."

"Fine. But I'm not happy about it."

"Have fun Buffy."

She looked at him sidelong for a moment before giving a small, resigned sigh. "Okay." Buffy smiled slightly and got out of the car.

********************************

Angel hadn't been exaggerating. There were literally  _hundreds_  of dresses in this building. Buffy was daunted. There was no way she'd be able to pick just one in a few  _days_ , let alone a few hours. The sales attendant chuckled when she saw the look on Buffy's face.

"Don't worry, dear. We'll take a few measurements and our stylists will pull out suitable choices. You'll be picking from a much smaller selection."

"Oh." Buffy laughed shakily, "Good." She was whisked into a private room where the stylists discussed her color, then left in search of the dresses they thought would suit her. Each one came back in shortly with a small rack of their chosen garments. Buffy looked through them and pulled out the ones she liked. She didn't really notice that all of the dresses she was presented with were mostly white with colored embroidery.

The last stylist to come back carried only a single garment bag. "We don't normally bring these out," he said, "Most women who shop here don't care about the beauty of the dress or the work that went into it, they only care about the price tag. This line is a work of art, and we can't let just anyone have them." He motioned for Buffy to unzip the garment bag, and she did.

She was struck with the beauty of the dress she was looking at. It had a bodice that laced up the back and cap sleeves that would fall just over the shoulder. The knee length skirt was cut in an A-line. There was embroidery along the bottom hem of vines and phoenixes and other birds that tapered up one side to reach the bodice.

"It's made from the finest pure-white silk. The embroidery is the same silk dyed into various shades of blue. The blue ribbon that laces the back is made from the same silk as well. If you look closely you can see that the embroidery has embellishments of small sapphires and pearls."

"Can I put it on?" Buffy asked tentatively.

"Of course." Buffy went behind a screen in the corner with the female sales attendant. They carefully got Buffy into the dress, and the attendant tightened and tied the lace up the back. Buffy walked from behind the screen and stepped onto the small platform in the middle of the room.

"You look lovely," the attendant commented.

"It's a little loose in the shoulders and the neckline sags a bit, but that can be altered," one of the stylists said.

Another had been walking around her pinching the fabric in a few places. "The waist should be taken in a little, too." She looked up and addressed Buffy, "It looks fine, but taking it in will make you more comfortable."

"What do you think?" That had come from the stylist who had brought the dress in. He had been standing in the corner just watching the scene in the room.

"I love it. It-it's  _exquisite._ "

"You make it look exquisite, dear."

"Thank you." Her words had been heartfelt, thanking him for the compliment and for bringing her the perfect dress.

A seamstress came forward to pin the alterations that needed to be made. The dress was carefully stripped off Buffy, who was draped in a robe and sent to the attached spa (Angel hadn't even  _mentioned_  a spa) to have her nails done. When her nails were dry she went back to the seamstress to have the dress fitted again, then she was sent back to the spa to have her hair done. Her hair was done up in soft curls, some piled atop her head in a messy bun while other fell to frame her face and tickle her shoulders. Once back in the dress the seamstress decided there was one more change that needed to be made, and Buffy sat for the few minutes it took.

"Now, normally I hate to rush my work, but I understand that you and the young man are in a hurry. You're a very lucky girl, you know." The seamstress said as she helped Buffy into the dress for the final time.

"I have no idea what he's doing." The woman behind her laughed while she finished tying the laces. Buffy was hustled into yet  _another_  room, this one containing the jewelry Angel had promised. Necklaces and earrings that matched her dress were brought forward, and Buffy selected an elegant set made of loops and swirls and leaves in silver with sapphires studding them in the perfect places.

A long coat that matched the deepest blue on her dress was produced, and Buffy was ushered outside to a waiting Angel. They both thanked everyone profusely, (something Buffy felt like she had been doing all night) as Angel handed her into the car.

********************************

"I  _loved_  it. Thank you, Angel. The whole think was wonderful." They were leaving Vegas. Buffy had discovered when she got back into the car that Angel had packed all of their belongings and checked them out of the hotel. She had also noticed that Angel was just as dressed-up as she was, but in a very Angel way.

"I'm glad you like it." He smiled at her, one of those smile that always made her go all melty inside.

"I really did." The time passed in comfortable silence before Buffy spoke again, this time with a completely different tone. "Now, most girls would think that jewelry, a spa trip, and what I'm assuming is a ridiculously expensive dress would be the surprise, but I know you, and you know me. You're frugal; you don't like to spend money unnecessarily. And while I greatly appreciate the aforementioned things, I know that you know that they wouldn't give me a reason to want to stay here, so I'm pretty sure there's something else. Is there something else Angel?"

Angel thought for a long time before responding slowly. "I love you Buffy. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I'm going to ask you something latter, but there are a lot of things you need to know first. I've made a lot of mistake in the past couple of years." He told her about losing himself, his quest to destroy Wolfram & Hart, the things he'd done because of it. Firing his friends. Darla. Buffy listened to all of it silently and was so focused on him that she hardly noticed when they pulled up to a quaint little building. When Angel finished they sat in utter stillness for nearly half an hour while Buffy digested what Angel had told her. When he couldn't take it any longer he asked her something he had been dreading asking, but still needed to know.

"Do you still love me?" His voice was so small and dejected that Buffy felt her heart breaking. She reached out to stroke his cheek.

"Of course I still love you. I'm not… happy, about some of the things you've done, but you were broken. I understand that. If you hadn't helped me, I don't know what I'd've been willing to do." They shared a smile that reassured both of them.

"Would you like to know something else?" Angel asked, his tone implying that she would like to know whatever it was, but she decided to tease him.

"I don't know" she said in a dryly "Do I?"

"Yes Buffy, you do." He turned to face the building in front of them. "That's a church, Buffy."

"So?"

"I know the priest here. After I moved to L.A. I helped him with a problem and he realized I'm not an evil fiend bent on killing everyone. He agreed to do me a favor."

Buffy's face had grown serious as an idea formed in her head. "What kind of favor Angel?"

"After I found out you died I, I couldn't deal. I went to monasteries in Sri Lanka. One of them was devoted to helping people be strong. One of the monks pulled me aside one day and spoke to me privately. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. It was wonderful, but I was mad at whoever controls such things to have given me the tool when you were gone."

"Angel." Her tone was much more forceful.

"I'm stronger than him Buffy. The demon." He turned to her with a searching smile "Do you understand what that means?"

"We can make love." The happiness in her voice was only out done by the happiness in his when he confirmed her statement.

"We can make love." He intertwined his fingers with hers. "I'm going to ask you a very important question, okay?" Buffy eagerly nodded her head. She believed she had guessed the question he was about to ask.

"Marry me."

***************************

Words are an amazing thing. Even one word can have an immense amount of power. 'Fire', for example, could take out an entire city. In most cases the power of words will belong to one person. There are, however, those rare occasions when for something to work the power must be split between two people. Amazing things can come of these times.

***************************

"Yes."

***************************

It was a simple church. Simple, but beautiful. Angel thought it paled in comparison to the woman next to him. Secretly the priest did, too. Angel had borrowed one of Cordelia's bracelets for Buffy to wear to complete the old saying, old, new, borrowed, blue. The organist was their witness. They both said 'I do' with awe in their emotion choked voices.

When the priest told them they may kiss Angel bent his head and pressed his lips to Buff's for the first time.

****************************

The drive to the new, smaller, not-in-Vegas hotel had been filled with heated caresses and whispered promises of things to come. When they finally got to their room they shared a deep, searing kiss. They made love slowly and sweetly until they were both so tired they collapsed against each other, boneless. As they lay there entwined together Buffy looked Angel in the eye and spoke.

"I've been trying to think of something to say, some way to tell you but I, I just, I don't know how." Angel kissed her as deeply as he could.

"I know."


	5. Good Morning Moon

Angel made sure to wake up before Buffy. He knew that he often shifted in his sleep and he couldn’t risk her waking up not in his arms.

She was so beautiful while she slept. The curtains had been carefully closed, but they were made out of a light material which allowed the room to be warmed with the muted morning light. Where it contacted her skin Buffy seemed to glow. The stress of her waking life fell away while she dreamed and her entire body looked relaxed and peaceful.

Of course that could have had something to do with last night. They’d undressed each other slowly, taking time to explore the body of the person they’d been denied for so long. Angel had taken every opportunity to kiss and caress his wife, and Buffy had taken every opportunity to kiss and caress her husband. They had made love until they were too tired to move, then lay motionless together, with Buffy’s head resting on Angel’s chest, to let sleep claim them.

 

*************************************

 

Buffy woke slowly as her cloudy mind tried to focus itself. The task was just under halfway done when the events of the previous night began to replay. These images shocked her reality into sharp relief and her body tensed ready to spring from the bed. Luckily, she became aware of Angel’s strong arms still encircling her and relaxed into his hold. She tightened her grip on his arms as a small sob shook her body.

“Buffy, leannan, what’s wrong?” Angel’s voice was thick with worry, wondering if he had done something wrong.

Buffy had to take a series of ragged breaths before she was composed enough to reply, “You’re still here.” The raw relief in her statement told Angel all he needed; he had done something completely _right_. Angel shifted Buffy so that she was facing him and used his fingers to tilt her head up so he could look at her. There were tear tracks running down her cheeks and water clinging to her eyelashes, but she was giving him a brilliant smile.

“Are you feeling better?”

Buffy took a moment to answer so she could process the reality that had just sunk in. _‘Angel and I got_ married _! I’m his wife! He’s my husband, and I’m his wife._ “I’m happy.” Her simple response gave Angel so much joy.

“I’m glad to hear that.” They kissed, simply and sweetly, then lay together, just basking in each other’s presence, for nearly half an hour before Angel spoke again, “What would you like to do today?”

Buffy raised herself onto her forearms so she could look at him better, an action that provided Angel with a view he greatly appreciated.  “I want,” She said slowly, “to stay in bed aaaaaaalllll day.”

“You’re still tired?” Angel asked teasingly.

“Not tired.” She bent forward to kiss him, “I just” *kiss* “want” *kiss* “to stay” *kiss* “in bed.” *kiss*

Angel’s lips curved into a smile against Buffy’s lips. “That can be arranged.” He quickly slipped his arm around Buffy and flipped her in the bed.

 

***************************************

 

Buffy was staring at her ring. Her _wedding_ ring. Angel had done a very good job. It was gorgeous, a square cut white diamond flanked by two dark blue diamonds and set in a simple silver band. Her favorite feature of the band, however, was the inside engraving. When Buffy had seen it, it brought tears to her eyes. Angel had had a claddagh engraved on the inside of the band.

He’d told her what the claddagh meant last night. He told her he knew he shouldn’t have done it without her knowledge and consent, but he knew where there relationship was headed. He had to give her some kind of marriage before they made love. She was so good and pure and innocent, it was an honor she deserved. He wanted to ask, but he knew he was undeserving, and he was terrified she’d say no. And he had needed a birthday present with meaning.

            The whole time he was talking Buffy could tell that he was asking for forgiveness, so she kissed him and told him it was alright.

Which lead to other things, which in turn lead to more things, which lead to very interesting things. Which, at some point in the night (she wasn’t entirely sure when), had lead to the scar freshly placed on her neck.

_‘He made me his again.’_

_****************************************_

 

The sun had just set and Angel had gone out to get food, leaving Buffy to rest herself. When he came back in she was soundly asleep. He bent down and gently woke her with a kiss.

“I love you.” Buffy said, now fully awake. She smiled and traced his face gently with her fingers.

“So you’ve said. Many times.” Angel sat down next to her and tried to direct Buffy to her meal. She just climbed onto his lap and began to kiss him again.

“You’re food is getting cold.” Angel mumbled after they broke their kiss for a second time. A mischievous smile formed on Buffy’s lips.

“Feed me.” Angel laughed and eagerly complied. He tried to at least. Buffy was much more interested in kissing him. By the time she’d taken the last bite is was cold.

 

***************************************

 

“Do you have a plan for now?” Buffy was brushing out her hair that was wet from the shower she had shared with Angel, the shower that had taken _much_ longer than it should have.

“No Buffy, I don’t.” Angel walked over to her took the brush from Buffy and, stepping around her, began to wield it himself.

“Really? Mr. Prepared doesn’t have a plan?”

“Since I found out you were back I have been entirely focused on making you my wife. That took president over everything else.”

“So I guess we kinda’ need to have a serious discussion then.”

“I guess we do.” Angel placed the brush on the counter before settling next to Buffy on the bench.

“I can’t leave Sunndale Angel.” Buffy’s delivery was soft, sad, and firm.

“I can’t leave L.A.” Angel was equally low-spirited.

“So where does that leave us?” Buffy looked at him with unshed tears glimmering in her eyes. “How will it be any different from before?” Her pitch had risen and her voice broke on the last word.

Angel quickly gathered Buffy into his arms. “Shhh,” he whispered, stroking her hair, “It’ll be okay Buffy. We’ll figure it out.”

“I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t,” he took her left hand and lifted it to kiss her ring, “I am now and will always be yours. That’s what this means. We belong to each other. Always.” Buffy took a few hiccupping breathes and wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

“Okay then, now that Buffy’s little break don is out of the way,” she laughed weakly and he smiled slightly, then kissed her. Buffy broke the kiss short to speak. “We really need to talk about our lives, Angel. Married couples have to discuss these things.”

“Okay. Here’s what I purpose. We live separately, we call each other every day, and one of us goes to see the other every weekend. Does that work for you?”

“No, I’d rather see you every day but, I guess it’ll have to do.

Angel entwined his fingers with hers. “I don’t like it either, but I can’t think of anything else.”

“We’ll make it work. We have to. And we’ll get used to it, it’s not perfect but—OH, oh, no. I can’t tell them! Angel, I can’t tell them! Nobody will understand. And you can’t tell either! What if Giles had to talk to Wesley and---“

Angel bent and kissed Buffy, silencing her stream of words. “Cordy knows,” he spoke against her lips “but if you don’t want to tell the others yet we won’t.”

“Okay.” Buffy nodded her head. “Okay. Good. Why does Cordy know?”

“I needed someone to help me plan. I wanted it to be perfect.”

“It was.”

 

*********************************

 

“Are you sure you got everything?” Angel said as he put the last of Buffy’s bags in his car.

“Yes. I triple checked. Would you stop worrying?”

“I just don’t want you to forget anything.” Angel let the trunk fall closed and went to open his door.

“Um, Angel? Don’t you need to check out and turn in the room key?” Angel looked up at her slightly shocked. Then he smiled and began to laugh.

“This isn’t a hotel Buffy.”

“It’s not?” Buffy was very confused.

“No. I own it.”

“Own it? But, you talked to someone when we came in…”

“The housekeeper. I gave her two days paid leave. I wanted us to be alone.”

“Oh.” Buffy studied the building next to them. Looking at it she realized it was really too small to be a hotel. Maybe a bed and breakfast, but out in the middle of nowhere? It _was_ beautiful. There was a small lake next to the house, both of which were shaded on one side by an apple orchard. Suddenly Buffy perked up.

“So, we’re married, which means, legally, this is mine too, right?” Angel settled on the hood of his car, his eyes resting on the ground in front of his feet. It took him more than a few minutes to speak.

“It’s always been yours.” Buffy started to speak, but Angel silenced her “Please let me finish.” She nodded and he continued. “We’re not that far from Sunnydale, less than a two hour drive.” He paused for a moment, “After you… died, the first time, you didn’t have any time to process it. You were whisked away, barely left alone. And when you came back… I could tell you needed somewhere to run to but didn’t have one. So,” he gestured toward the house. “I was going to drive you up here after your birthday, call it an extra present.”

“Why didn’t you? I mean after… hell?”

“We weren’t together, and then I knew I had to leave. I was a danger to you and everything you held dear. I was a danger to the world. The only reason I stayed as long as I did was because I needed your help to regain my sanity.” Angel glanced up at Buffy. She was facing away from him and her body was tense. Gently, he slipped his arm around her back. “I’m not going to leave you again. Ever.”

“I know. It’s just really hard to think about then.” Buffy rested her head against Angel’s chest and gripped his shirt in her hands. His other arm came up and held her head close.

“We don’t have much time before sunup.”

“Yeah. We need to go."

 

*******************************************

 

The ride to Sunnydale was spent in sad yet comfortable silence. Neither Buffy nor Angel wanted to be separated but, now that they were back together, it was going to take some time to figure out how to actually _be together_.

After some debate Angel had decided to go to the mansion. Buffy could go spend the day with her friends and Dawn, than come back that night and see him before he left. Buffy had other plans. _‘But Angel, we haaave to christen_ our _bedroom…’_ She ended up leaving hours later.

 

*******************************************

 

The front door creaked as Buffy opened it. “Hello?” she called out “Anybody home?”

“Buffy!” Willow yelled as she ran down the stairs. “You’re home!” Her mood suddenly shifted from excited to concerned and inquisitive. “How was it? Are you okay? Did Angel upset you because if he did I’ll turn him into a toad or something.”

“There will be no toadige required, but thank you for offering. And it was… intense.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not yet. I need some time to process everything.”

“Oh. Okay.” _‘Oh she she’s hiding something’_ Willow thought, but decided not to push it yet.

Buffy glanced around, taking a few steps into the living room. “Is Dawn still home?”

“Yeah. Xander’s coming to pick her up and drive her to school. But, Buffy, I don’t know if you want to talk to her right now. She’s really upset with you.”

“That’s exactly why I need to talk to her. She in her room?” Willow nodded and Buffy went upstairs to talk to Dawn.

 

*******************************************

 

Dawn was resting on her bed with her door open. She had no desire to talk to her older sister. The older sister who had just gotten back from hell and then abandoned her. There was a soft knock on her door frame and a timid voice asking from said location “Dawnie?”

 “Go away. I don’t want to talk to you.” Buffy stepped into Dawn’s room and shut the door behind her.

“You’re mad at me.” Dawn didn’t respond. “What we were doing was really important, and Angel wouldn’t have been able to do it without me.” Dawn still didn’t respond. Buffy decided she really only had one thing left to try. “Can you keep a secret?” Dawn didn’t say anything, but her body language let Buffy know she was interested. “It’s a very big secret and you can’t tell anyone. Do you promise?” Buffy was hesitant to tell her sister, but she needed to win back her trust.

“Yes, I promise.” Dawn did not want to do any such thing, but she loved knowing things others didn’t. “What is it?”

Buffy sat down on the edge of the bed and spoke very softly. “Angel and I got married.”

Dawn sat bolt upright.

“Oh my God.” She laughed. “I mean, oh my God. This is good right?”

“Yes Dawn, this is very good.” The joy radiating off Buffy was so intense that Dawn had no doubt that Buffy had made the right decision. Dawn flung herself across her bed and wrapped her older sister in a hug.

“I am so happy for you! This is amazing. I mean, wow! Ya’ know?”

Buffy simply smiled and nodded her head.

“I know." 

 


End file.
